love affair -October 30, 2020-

　Do you have a loved one?
　I'm surrounded by many people who are married or have girlfriends. However, many of them are in good but unsustainable relationships. Especially those in love relationships break up at a high rate. As far as I know, the reason for a breakup is always due to differences in values.
　A person's values are determined by the environment in which he or she was born and raised in the first place. There is no such thing as a person born and raised in exactly the same environment. Therefore, there are as many values as there are people. Also, a person's values can change with the circumstances. Therefore, when choosing a romantic partner, it is important to consider how close their values are to yours. There are exceptions to this rule, but I won't go into that in this article.
　My advice to people when they are asking me about their relationship problems is to focus on whether or not they feel uncomfortable with their partner. Even if the other person behaves in a way that doesn't match your values, as long as you don't feel uncomfortable or disgusted with them, you won't have a problem in your relationship. The problem here, however, is that even if you don't feel bad about the other person's behavior at first, you will gradually feel bad about it. This may be due to a change in values, but you should not criticize the other person just because you feel bad about their behavior. This is because many people dislike people who are inconsistent. Of course, as long as there is a rational reason for the statement or change in attitude, there is no problem. If they don't understand your rationality, it's better to break up with them. People can't act only by reason, but don't act without reason, because people tend to dislike you.
　There are not many people with the same values as you. So, when you are looking for someone you love, you should talk to many people. There is always someone somewhere in the world who understands you. Married couples who are still close in their old age are the ones who have found someone who understands them. I want to be like that one day.