What is communication? -August 8, 2020-

　What is communication? I struggle with this a lot. I often feel dissatisfied with the content of the conversation and the attitude of the person I'm talking to, especially after having a conversation. The reason for this is quite simple. I want too much from my partner and it's not good.
　I used to think that if I was logical and rational, the other person would understand what I was trying to say. But that was a big mistake. Humans are creatures whose attitudes change depending on the image of the other person, more so than we think. In particular, if you are having a conversation with someone who has a bad image of you, even if they are making a good argument, you will not be able to gain empathy because the purpose of the conversation is to attack the other person, not to understand what is being said. On the other hand, if you are having a conversation with someone who is doing you a favor, even if you are saying the wrong thing, you will try to gain empathy for the other person in order to get them to like you. In Adlerian psychology, this is called the underlying purpose, the true purpose. I didn't understand these emotions very well, so I was stressed when I was dealing with them
. 　I think a good communicator is someone who is able to act in a way that makes others like them. However, it is not realistic to act in a way that all people like you. So what you need to do is to choose the people you talk to. Any human being can be uncomfortable living with someone who has values that are so far removed from their own. If you're reading this article and you're struggling with relationships, I hope you'll study Adlerian psychology. And I hope you realize that it's not a bad thing for people to dislike you.